Running Like Clockwork

Before we left for vacation on December 24, I decided I needed to meet the new aid from hospice. This was the new person who would spend the most time with him. So I told her when I would be there and she came across as wary. Was it just me? Was it that unusual for a family member to want to meet the new caregivers? So I showed up and she seemed a little put out. Dad was jabbering about wanting to GO and for us to take him to Lubbock and to "TAKE ME TO THE BANK RIGHT NOW!" She commented, "Boy he's just rattling on, ain't he!" I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I do a lot of business calls on my job, sometimes with menial office workers. Just because they lack social skills doesn't mean they are not good at their job. Plus, having to be checked out by the family was probably shaking her up. She wasn't yet making an effort to bond with him or talk to him. And, well, he was rattling on. How bonded does he need to be with the person who changes his diapers? She then got down on his eye level with him and told him she was going to check him to see if he was wet. When we got him into his room, his home health care worker showed up to give him the B12 shot. We were all three talking about the logistics of his care in the future and we were all talking at once. Dad said he wanted for us to be quiet so we could let him tell us where he wanted us to take him. Then the aid became offended and said, "Did you hear THAT??" I said, "That he wanted us to be quiet?" The room was silent. All I could think was, "Oh crap. This may be a problem." Once she got him on the bed, I said I would wait in the living room.

One thing I've noticed about the whole process of being a caregiver is that you have a certain script in your head. You'd occasionally like to think that you can anticipate how people will behave, but you just can't. Dad's certainly not going to follow the script, and often, people involved in the caregiving don't either. When she did bring him back to where I was waiting, she got back on his eye level and talked with him. He was not picking up on her brusqueness and kept telling her he wanted her to take him to Lubbock. She asked me if I had any questions and I said no, I just wanted to meet her. I decided I was leaving in the morning for New Orleans, so there was nothing to be done. Dad wasn't put off by her coolness, so why should I be? Off to split town!! We did three Days in New Orleans and four in Destin, Florida. On morning of the 28th, I checked my voicemail to find out Dad had fallen the night before and hospice had been called to check him out. He had hit his head, but had no bumps or bruises. This is the running like clockwork part. I can leave town and he will not be rushed to the hospital. Extra people will be brought in to fill the gap between assisted living and a nursing home, with out the cost and other complications of a nursing home (e.g. a move for him, a facility with a larger number of tenants, and a less homey environment with more regulation.) I called back and found out he had told the hospice nurse who showed up, "I'm fine. You can leave now." Hey, it ain't called "Grumpy Old Men" because they're generally social butterflies. Earle and Ed are, of course, the exception. I bought 3'x 4' oil painting above in Florida at an antique store for $79. I found out at home that the only problem was that the frame appeared to have been through a flood and still had old silt in the carved indentions! That's it?? Twenty minutes with a wet old toothbrush and a wet rag and dry cloth and I got a fantastic original oil with a beautiful gold painted frame! Back to Dad's story. So today we got back and I made it a point to go see him. He has a new medical reclining chair on wheels that he cannot roll around the house. The house's bathroom doors have always caused a problem because they just aren't wide enough. So he tears off his skin going through doors. The chair therefore solves the skin-tear problem, but also his rolling around the house getting lost. It also removes the need for a restraining belt. I showed Dad the piano bench cover that I started the weekend of Thanksgiving. We took pics and made a video. We then played dominoes with two of the other ladies and two of the caregivers. I always thought since Granddaddy was a big domino player, it HAD to be hard to learn. It wasn't. I came in second. As I left, I gave all my little golden girls a hug. I forgot one however, and as I was about to leave I heard "YOU MISSED ME!!!" I turned right around to find the little sweetie who needed a hug.