David Died January 28 at 12:35

I had been at his house until 9:30 and then left to go to work. After working for two hours I took a broker to lunch when I got the call right before dessert. I went over to the house and Dad looked very peaceful. Basically he looked the same as he did in the morning, other than he was no longer breathing. Hospice stayed with me throughout the afternoon as we waited for the funeral home to come take the body. I felt exhausted and relieved.

I read a short book called A Good Death which explained the steps by which we die naturally, with the brain basically shutting off the desire to eat and drink. It explained that the process of dying was not painful, and the pain of hunger is also shut off in the brain. It's like your body knows it's time and takes care of what needs to be done to help it die. This helped me so much because I kept thinking he was dying of starvation. He wasn't. He was dying of old age. He was in a coma for the last week. I played a lot of music, did a lot of guided meditation, and talked to the critical care nurses who I believe were there to take care of both of us. If his breathing became labored, he was given a little morphine under the tongue. The best part about the book was that it affirmed I was doing everything right, and that less is more. No machines, no tubes, just comfort, baths, and lots of lotion. I was glad I was able to stroke his arms, legs, and hold his hand without his getting all fidgity. I was happy that I was able to tell him I loved. Now that I have a much better understanding of what he was feeling and experiencing, the fear of going out this way is much diminished. And I absolutely want hospice calling the shots. When the family makes the calls, there are too many emotions getting in the way of a good death. Trust me.

We will be burying him Monday in the usual place. I know some of us are not able to travel and that's OK. I know you were following the blog and I sure do love ya'll for doing so. Dad never knew the blog existed. He knew he was being videoed on occasion, but that's about it. I guess it's fun to think that right about now, Mom is catching him up on the good parts....