Go Girls

So Dave went home and appeared content at the group home. I went home and the next day at work I get a call saying he had "punched out a caregiver" and was refusing meds. WHAT??!? I don't know how badly he punched her, but I called a little later and asked if she had to go to the doctor or anything and she said she was OK. I believe he did hit this 24 year old 120 pound woman. I was pretty distraught. There is medication that you can apply to calm people down so they are more compliant.



My sister and I went to visit him on Saturday. Do we confront him? Will this make things worse? Will he take out his resentments on the caregivers? We pulled aside the caregivers and asked about it, "I heard he hit someone Thursday night." The answer was, "Yeah, and he got So and So last night." OMG, it just keeps getting worse. I asked them if his hitting was going to get him kicked out, and she said no, that they had seen much worse in the nursing home. She also had the insight that he was going from independency to total dependency for things like dressing, toileting, and sometimes eating (cutting up food), and he was striking out because of this loss of control. They'd seen it all before. I hold the women in very high regard. They are understanding and handling a job that I couldn't do, regardless of the pay. They do it with a positive attitude and with unwaivering patience for the people that are dependent on them. We could all learn from them.



He talked about the play he was in this week as we wheeled him down the street in his wheelchair. As a person who has looked down upon people with disablilities, for example "In order to get in here, you have to have somethng wrong with you" upon living in Tarrytown, he sees being in a wheelchair as a loss of worth and something he is being forced to endure. He can't understand why we don't just hand him the walker.



Upon sitting in the living room with Dad and the roomies, one of the roomies chided him about not using his walker (before the fall) and how he brought the broken hip on himself. "I told him! He's had three falls." Although I feel that her words are probably very painful and embarrassing for him, I think it's probably the only way he can hear the truth. He sure isn't going to hear it from my sister or myself, and if he's ever going to walk again, he's going to need friends like her to tell it like it is. Keep it up, gals!