I went to visit Dad today and I commenced to working on my embroidery seat cover for my piano bench. (Take two legs of a pair of jeans, cut them open, sew them together....oops, wrong blog.) We were chatting about nothing much and eating some banana nut bread from Starbucks. I thought finger food would be more appropriate. Unfortunately, the remote was there on the table. He picked it up, thinking it was the banana bread and stuck it in his mouth and started chewing it. I was able to get it from him and hand him the banana bread. After the snack (and nearly broken teeth from the banana bread look alike TV remote) the psych nurse came through the door. I thought he might be someone's relative (a little Pakistani looking for this crowd, though) until he walked straight up to Dad and shook his hand. After introducing himself he started asking Dad lots of questions. It went as follows:
Who is this?
Barbara
How is she related to you?
Sister
Turn around and look at her. Is she really your sister?
Yes (Dad is not being coy. He's not acting confused either.)
Where are you?
Galveston
Actually David you are in Dallas (Dad doesn't think the nurse is lying. But he doesn't see how that's possible by his expression. He's trying to please this guy. He likes the company. He introduced him to me as the dentist.)
What month is this?
April
Do you see all these decorations? Does that help you?
September. Maybe October. Or November, or December.
Do you have a sister?
Yes
And What is her name?
Harriet (I nod yes over his shoulder.)
Do you have a brother?
Yes
What is his name.
Bill
No Daddy
Bob
No Daddy
Don
No Daddy
It IS DON!!!
Daddy, I'm going to give you a big fat hint. You have two that start with "E".
(No response.)
Do you have any daughters?
Yes
What are their names?
Melody and Amy (Melody pronounced Melanie)
Which is the oldest? (This was a bit of a tricky question given that Cindy was technically the oldest during the growing up years. He paused.)
Melody
Which one is this one?
Melody
After the questions of Dad, he asked me what happened to him, and whether he had had a stroke. I told him about the falls starting in Houston in the spring, the 24 hours he lay on the floor without anyone noticing until the newspapers started piling up in front of his door (thank God for observant neighbor ladies). He thought maybe he'd had a stroke due to the drooling. I siad no, he has Parkinson's with dementia. I told him that, in Houston, he became an escape artist and his assisted living facility wouldn't accept liability for him any longer, so we moved him to Dallas. Two weeks after the move he fell again, this time breaking his hip and going to the hospital again. I told him, at this point, he mentally fell off the cliff completely. I advised he'd been diagnosed with dementia three years ago. His diagnosis is Parkinson's with dementia. He went back to asking Dad questions.
How was your marriage?
No answer.
How long were you married?
62 years.
No Daddy, Mom was 17 when you married, she died at 61, so however that comes out mathematically is how long you were married. Like 43 years. Something like that.
NURSE: How old was she?
30
No she wasn't, Daddy.
15
She was 17 and your were 24, Daddy.
NURSE: The police could have come after you. (Tongue in cheek.) Was it a good marriage? When did she die?
Ten years ago. Maybe 15.
1997, Dad. Pretty close. He took care of her 24 hours a day while she had bone marrow cancer. She couldn't move. He took good care of her. She lingered for four months. My aunt moved in for some of the time, and I came down on weekends. After she died, he sat and played bridge for two years online, so I showed him how to meet women online, to get him out of the house. He did pretty good with that for a couple of years. Helped him let go of Mom.
NURSE: They had online dating back then?
Yep. Match.com. You were on Match.com Dad.
NURSE: I never did that. I was too moral.
Daddy, Is Helen your girlfriend? (Perriwinkle hair, listening in on the psych assessment.)
No
I thought she was!
NURSE: I think she might have a crush on you.
OK, If you say so.
The nurse advised he was going to put him on a low dose of psychotropic meds for the hallucinations and agitation (and this is without seeing the remote in the mouth episode!) I gathered that when I'm not there things were not very informative. In truth, we just sort of lucked out today. He was getting a lot wrong, but at least he was cooperative. Some of his personality showed up. Good. He's still in there. Don, Bill, hope you like the blog!
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